Ur So Gay A Draco and Hermione Breakup Story
by EphesusX
Summary: Hermione and Draco were dating, but he left her for Ginny...a pureblood. A true blow to the head for Hermione, but revenge is sweet for the beautiful mudblood witch... A funny twist on a Dramoine


**A/N** ONE SHOT. Song fic. It gets a little sexual, but not too bad. Hope everyone enjoys! Also please review as this is my first song fics.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, the song is from Katy Perry on her album One of the Boys and the characters are from Harry Potter.

**Ur so Gay – A Draco and Hermione break-up song**

_I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf…_

Hermione wrote on a paper while sitting in Defence against the Dark Arts.

She was angry at Draco. They had been dating for a while now and he left her the day before. For Ginny Weasly. A pureblood. This made Hermione even angrier. It was not her fault she had been a mudblood, but Draco made it quite clear to her;

"Purebloods and mudbloods don't mix Hermione; I'm too perfect for you. Ginny is more in my range than you are."

Hermoine swallowed hard.

_Jerking off listening to Mozart…_

Ginny _was_ her friend. Almost enough to be called a BFF, but alas, that's how high school worked. Everyone knew Hermione was prettier than Ginny, but it wasn't about that. It was because Draco was a racist bastard. He always will be. It was stupid of Hermione to even think that he would stick around with her for long. She was lucky she got what she did out of him. Not that it mattered now. She turned in her seat and saw Draco blowing a note over to Ginny. Ginny opened it and giggled. Wrote a note back and blew it back over to him.

It made her sick. Her old best friend and ex boyfriend were flaunting themselves right in front of her and they didn't care.

_You don't eat meat and drive electrical cars,_

_You're so indie rock; it's almost an art,_

_You need SPF 45,_

_Just to stay alive…_

Class was dismissed and Hermione got up. She picked up her stuff and walked out with Ron and Harry. She had the urge to walk past and bump the two with her shoulder, but was stopped by her conscience. They weren't worth it.

All of a sudden she heard Draco's voice whisper into her ear.

"Meet me at the Transfiguration Courtyard after school…" he said.

Hermione's heart raced. Did he change his mind?

The next period she thought about it, it would be stupid to think he'd want her back, but she was curious to see what he wanted after school. Only 45 more minutes…and counting…

* * * * * * * * * *

She walked to the Transfiguration Courtyard with her books in her hands. There he was standing under a big tree. She swallowed hard and tightened a grip on her wand, if he was going to try something, she was prepared.

She walked over to him slowly.

His eyes were fixated on her. Her heart beat slowly as his devilishly sexy eyes stared at every part of her body as she moved closer toward him.

Finally she reached him.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she asked abruptly, looking away from him.

"I want you Hermione…" he said slowly…she looked up at him.

"I want you Hermione, to help me with my Potions assignment, think you can do that? I'll give a few bucks for it."

_You're so gay and you don't even like boys,_

_No you don't even like,_

_No you don't even like,_

_No you don't even like boys…_

Hermione snapped a look at him. She was about to blurt out; "EXCUSE ME?!"…

But then she thought about it…

Why not?

Why not torture him instead of screaming at him…?

He was expecting that anyway and that wasn't what she was going to do.

"Alright, Malfoy." She said, still cross.

Malfoy frowned. "You'll _really_ help me?"

Hermione nodded. "What do you want me to do?" she asked sweetly. She had a plan, but it wasn't going to fall into place if she wasn't going to see him.

He looked at her suspiciously.

She smiled sweetly at him; "_You naive little bastard…" _she thought.

He cleared his throat. "Erm, this assignment on memory loss potions."

"Done." Hermione said and smiled.

"Huh?"

"Meet me in the library, your assignment is as good as done." She said, her eyes fixated on his. He stood up a little straighter. "You mean, no hard feelings then?"

"See you in library…" she smiled sneakily and walked away.

_You're so sad, maybe you should buy a happy meal,_

_You're so skinny, you should really supersize the deal…_

"Secretly you're so amusing, nobody understands you…" Hermione sang to herself as she mixed potions together in the far dark corner library.

"You can't do that here." A girl said as she came waltzing in.

Hermione snapped an evil look at the girl and she quickly scattered.

"Are you done yet?" Draco's voice crept up on her.

She shivered as his voice frightened her.

"Oh sorry, did I startle you…?" he flirted.

Hermione looked up at him as she poured in the last ingredient.

She threw the plastic bottle of the last ingredient on the floor and sat down. "Done." She said sweetly sarcastic. "Why did you do this for me?" he asked.

Hermione looked away and folded her arms. "No reason." She lied.

"I think this was your way of trying to get me back, wasn't it?" he teased.

Hermione felt rage running to her head, but she tried hard to keep her cool.

She giggled. "Yeah Malfoy, right."

"Don't you want me back?!" he asked, outraged.

Hermione giggled again. "No silly…why would I want _you_ back?" she teased.

"Because _everybody_ wants me!"

"Relax Malfoy…" she said and got up close to him. "I'm too dirty for you, remember…?"

He stared at her. She was irresistible in the way she said it, even though she didn't mean for it to sound so sexy…or maybe she did?

_I can't believe I fell in love with someone who wears more makeup than me…_

She walked passed him and he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him.

"Malfoy, please…" she whispered as she tried to break free.

"Tell me you want me back…" he whispered in her ear.

She looked into his eyes. They were filled with lust for her.

"Draco, I don't…"

"Don't lie…I know you want me…"

With that he leaned in and kissed her. He pulled her body closer to his and kissed her hard. His hands held her waist tightly and they kissed passionately.

"But Malfoy, I'm not pureblood…" she said as she broke out of the kiss.

"Screw pureblood, I want you!" He said, staring at her body.

"I know honey…" she teased; "…but I sure as hell, _don't_ want you!"

With that she grabbed the potion and splashed it onto his pants.

Turns out it wasn't a memory potion after all…

Draco gasped! "My pants!"

"Oh dear!" she put her hand infront of her mouth; "I must've gotten the memory and invisibility potions mixed up!" she laughed sarcastically.

"YOU _MUDBLO_…"

"Oh save it arsehole! Let's see how much Ginny likes you after she sees you aren't quite as…erm…_big_ as your ego..." she laughed and walked out the library…

_You're so gay and you don't even like boys,_

_No you don't even like,_

_No you don't even like,_

_No you don't even like boys…_


End file.
